God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
