Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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