from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
