I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
