if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Quick, to the slutcave!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
