my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize