my phone needs a breathalizer
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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