Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
