Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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