I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
