ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
