i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize