the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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