Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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