We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
