it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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