a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is that strawberry winking at me??
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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