Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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