Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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