i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
