There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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