do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Even my vagina gasped.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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