At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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