even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
