Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
