Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize