Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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