I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize