How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
