i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
