mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
