So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
