remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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