He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
