Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
