I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
