In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I am one with the molecules
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
