Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
porn star boner night. come get it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize