I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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