I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
