Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
