Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize