Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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