if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nicole vs. Life
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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