why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
