She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
