real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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