the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
