You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
