My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He shit in the fireplace
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
