Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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