sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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