It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
