I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
