one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
