I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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