He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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