turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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