My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
