adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
