I wannas sexs uuuuu
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
