I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
