apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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