why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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