At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
