Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
