Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
