nutella sex= disaster
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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