Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he thought i was a dude.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
