He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
