You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
