I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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