ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
