I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
