is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
