I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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