I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
