I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize