as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize