i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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