Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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