omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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